Sunday, May 3, 2009

How to talk to girls

It may be a little early for me to be talking to Baby C about girls, but he may not want to talk to me about it when he is older, so I'll give him some tips now for later use.

Tip #1 - The Sneak Kiss. I've never tried this and to my knowledge, it has never been done, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work. If you are anything like your old man, you will fall for a friend and/or coworker. Once you are on a 'kiss on the cheek' hello basis, wait for her to lean in to kiss you on the cheek, then turn your head and WHAMMO - Kiss on the lips. Laugh it off, be charming and good luck. I'll let you know the results if anyone tries it from now until you are ready. Stand down until further notice.

Tip #2 - Don't assume, ask. There are tons of reasons out there for a girl to say no to you. Too tall, too short, too hairy, not hairy enough, I don't date Italian guys, I like girls, I just got out of a serious relationship, I just want to be friends, you hooked up with my friend so I can't be with you, you don't like cats, our friends don't get along with each other, your friends don't like me. The list goes on and on and on and on. 

Don't assume a girl doesn't want to go out with you. Ask her out and make her say no to you. Believe me. If she isn't interested, she'll tell you. As Wayne Gretzky says "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." (You'll learn who Wayne Gretzky is when you get older)

I think that's enough for now, baby steps.


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