Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Dad-chelor party!

I saw The Hangover last night and it gave me a brilliant idea. You may have seen it on my Facebook status, but if not, my idea is a Dad-chelor party! It’s just like a Bachelor party, but instead of having it before getting married, you have it before you have a baby. Genius! I’m very excited about this idea. Some might say, “Well, isn’t that what you get while the baby shower is going on?” I say NO! Although I’ll have fun, I don’t think watching the dogs at the neighbor’s house is quite the same as having a party in my honor. Maybe if it was football season I could maybe see it, maybe, but still my answer is no.

I’ll start off by saying I’m not a big drinker to begin with, but I think I will drink even less once Baby C comes along. It’s my responsibility to take care of Allison and Baby C. How can I do that if I’m drunk? You never know when something will happen to the baby. He could run a high temp or have a great fall. I’ll need to be alert and coherent at all times. I’m big on safety first. I’ve already discussed with Allison that if she goes into labor, during a hurricane, we’ll take the CR-V to the hospital so we can drive off road if we need to. If a tree is down across the road and we need to drive on the bike path, I think the CR-V is much better for that than my Civic. I think the worst part of that will be not being able to get out of the car and take a picture of us driving on the bike path. AHHH it will be torture. Anyway…safety first was the point here.

So since I’m going to cut down on the drinking (seriously I drink maybe once a month, if that. I think I still have Pumpkin beer from Thanksgiving in the fridge) a Dad-chelor party makes sense. One last night to go out with the guys to have drinks & smoke a cigar. But it has to be soon. I don’t want to get a call while out on the Dad-chelor party that Allison is in labor. I don’t want to end up like Ricky Ricardo showing up to the hospital with my bongos dressed like a tribal man w/ war paint on fresh from my gig at Club Babalu. Since Allison is due 9/26 the party needs to take place sometime in August. The shower is August 1, so that leaves 4 more weekends in August to choose from.

Ok, onto the guest list. I’ll need a designated driver and someone who will keep us out of trouble. You know who doesn’t drink? And is an all-around good guy? Dwight Howard! So we get Dwight Howard to be the designated driver. As an added bonus, who is going to start trouble with us if Superman is parting with us? Aside from Lex Luther, nobody will mess with us. Does anybody know Dwight? Put in a good word for me. Thanks. And since we have Dwight Howard…maybe he brings some Magic Dancers or Stuff (Magic Mascot) along with him.

What should we do? Well for my bachelor party, we went to a Magic game and then went to the bars in Downtown Orlando. It’s not basketball or hockey season, so we should either go to the dog track, maybe a Rays game, play golf or have a Texas hold’em tournament w/ 50% of the pot going to Baby C.

We get a radio show to sponsor the event. They can get in on the ground floor of this thing. It’s not like Sam Wainwright letting George Bailey get in on the early days of plastic, but still it’s something new. So we get Johnny, Jayde and Brian from XL1067 to sponsor this thing for us at Ember or Antigua. It’s simply coincidence that those bars are walking distance to Macos.

The dream. The dream is to get photos and/or autographed items from celebs for Baby C’s time capsule. The Hangover had Mike Tyson and Wayne Newton, but I’d much prefer Nelly Furtado and/or Alyssa Milano. I better start emailing them. It’s very far fetched, but lots of celebs do live in and visit Orlando. Tiger lives here. Allison actually has the same lady doctor that delivered Tiger’s cubs. Those celebs may be in town, who knows?? I don’t think they’ll come but that’s why it’s called the dream. A more realistic and obtainable dream is getting the Appliance Direct guy to come. How awesome would it be to take pix with that guy and get him to autograph something for Baby C to put in the time capsule? I’m not even drunk right now and I’m excited about the idea. Can you imagine being drunk and having Appliance Direct guy show up? That’s Wakkie-Nu-NU!

That is best case scenario. I’ll settle for a night out with a few of the guys, some beer and a cigar. Let’s see what we can make happen. Pix will be posted if it happens.


Jenn Corbett said...

Hahahaha.... Oh my, you make me laugh! I love the part about off-roading in the CR-V. I know that wasn't the point of the blog, but my imagination got the best of me. We have a CR-V too, and I can just imagine Randy saying the same thing. Oh boy...

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