Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Circle of Trust

You guys have seen Meet the Parents right? If you haven't you really need to watch it. It's really funny. Ben Stiller is a real funny Focker. At one point in the movie Robert DeNiro talks about the Circle of Trust.

I always thought that when I had kids, it would be me, Allison and the kid inside the circle. It would be us 3 against the world. It's like that most of the time, but I have had moments where I kicked Allison out of the circle. Has this happened to any of you?

Allison is a fantastic mother and she takes much better care of Ben than I do, but there are times where I have to kick her out of the Circle of Trust. As you read earlier on the blog, my job is to protect my son from danger. If I sense a threat it's my job to neutralize the threat. But what happens when the threat is Allison?

It might make more sense if I give you an example. We took Ben to Twistee Treat for his first taste of ice cream (which he loved by the way) Anyway, I always get a small swirl. Vanilla ice cream w/ Reese's pieces. Allison said that Ben could not have any of my ice cream because there is peanut butter in it and kids are often allergic to peanut butter and they also are not supposed to have it before 1 year because their body can't digest it.

We went with Uncle Mark and Aunt Kristin. We forgot to get Ben his own spoon so he could have some of Allison's vanilla cone. I asked Mark if he could get me a spoon for Ben. He did, but he put it in his ice cream...which also had peanut butter.

Allison took the spoon, ate what was on it and began to try to feed Ben with it. DANGER DANGER DANGER. That triggered an alarm and in a split-second we went from a happy family to The Terminator and Sara Connor (Terminator 1, when he tries to kill her, not T2 when he tries to protect her) I flipped out. I made her stop what she was doing. Do Not feed Ben that scoop of ice cream. It has peanut butter on it, you said Ben can't have peanut butter. She said it was fine because she cleaned the spoon. I disagreed.

My sister is allergic to peanut butter. She used to break out just from the smell of it. And you couldn't use the same knife when making a PB&J sandwich because that would contaminate the jelly and it would bother her. So with this background, I didn't think that just licking off the spoon was good enough.

However, when I get mad or defensive, I have a hard time expressing myself. So I really could not get this point across to Allison. I just kept saying "he can't have peanut butter" and she kept on saying "but, there's no peanut butter." Every time we did this I just got madder and madder. Eventually I said something that made her cry and made other tables look at us, but she stopped trying to feed Ben. (Sorry honey)

I wanted to rip the spoon out of her hand and throw it across the parking lot, but I thought that would not end well for me. I also thought about taking the spoon and flicking her in the forehead with it. Mostly because it would be funny, but also to get her attention. Knowing that would end worse for me than Spoon Javelin, I just kept arguing about peanut butter. I think we eventually got a new spoon or we just cleaned it a few more times. Either way, Ben lived and he LOVES ice cream.

Allison's current status: In the Circle

MMMMMMM Ice Cream!!!!


Dr.Shawn said...

I have to side with you on this one. Absolutely. Once contaminated it's contaminated.

Anonymous said...

@ Dr.Shawn, This is Anthony's wife. You may or may not be correct. If he would have just said, lets get a new spoon, it would have been fine. It was the fact that he freaked out and became this whole other person for a while that was the problem. It was like I was his complete enemy. Oh well, all is well that ends well. Ben used the "contaminated" spoon and lived to tell the tale. Hopefully I can remain in the circle because man, being outside the circle is not a pleasant place to be :).

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