Funny Things My Kids Say - Episode 1

Both kids ate all of their dinner on Wednesday night, so as a special reward, we took them to Twistee Treat  for a celebratory ice cream.

When we got there, Ben ordered for himself and Abby. Chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. His favorite ice cream flavor and topping...this week.

As we were enjoying our ice cream, a dad and his 3 boys drove up. While they were walking to the window, Ben turns to me and asks "Daddy, did they eat all their dinner too?" " Yes, Ben." I replied. "They did eat all their dinner, so now they get to have ice cream."

Ben turns to the kids and yells at the top of his lungs "GOOD JOB GUYS!!!"  And he finished it off with a thumbs up.

He's getting so big.

I eat real food now

Abigail is 5 1/2 months old. She has been eating rice cereal mixed with formula. It smells and looks disgusting, but she likes it and that's all that matters.

We decided to try out some real food. First on the list, Sweet Potatoes. This I how I imagine it went for her:
"HMMMMMMM...this is not rice cereal...the texture is different....it tastes different.....IT'S ORANGE! What's orange? What's rice cereal? HI DAD!!!"

So now, it's official. I'm the only person in my family that doesn't like sweet potatoes. I did have a delicious sweet potato casserole once that Aunt Kristin's mom made that I liked, but that was more like candy than a vegetable.

Not sure what will be next. Possibly carrots. Maybe some peas. Who knows, but it will be fun feeding it to her.

 

They grow up so fast. - 5 month review

Today Abigail is 5 months old.
I can't believe how quickly it's gone by and how much she's changed. She seems to do something new everyday. Today she saw me with her bottle, her eyes tracked it, then when I got close enough, she reached out to grab it and screeched.

At her 4 month checkup she was 24in long and weighed 14lbs 12oz. I'm sure both of those numbers have gone up since then. She goes back to the doctor for her 6 month check up. I'll let you know just how much bigger she's gotten.

Abigail is so cute. She knows I'm her dad. I get a special smile and screech when she sees me. She can roll from her back to her belly and her belly to her back. (Is anyone else singing Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice?)

We recently started feeding her rice cereal mixed with formula. It's so funny watching her learn how to eat. She spits most of the spoon full out. And when I say spoon full, I'm using that term lightly. I use the smallest  spoon ever made and it's usually only 1/4 full.

She puts her hands in her mouth and spreads the cereal all over her face and hair. She sometimes licks the high chair tray too. It gets everywhere. So far mommy and Mrs Amanda have ended up with rice cereal in their hair. All the grey hair I have just makes it look she's gotten daddy too.

Abigail can sit up on her own now. Wait, let me back up and clarify. If we sit her up, she can remain in a sitting up position. She reaches out for her toys and plays in her jumper . I think her favorites are a bumblebee (non-transformer), a dolly & horse, a dog, a pocket book rattle...wow, now that I list them out, she likes a lot of toys.


We get stopped everywhere we go. People tell us how beautiful she is. I say "thank you" out loud, but think "I know" on the inside. ;) We get asked a lot of silly questions too. Here are a few that spring to mind:

• Is that a real baby?
• Is that her real hair or is that a wig?
• Is that a doll?

Anyway, happy 5 months to my baby girl. You would think 5 months & Fat Tuesday combo we'd all be up to our elbows in cake...especially if you know me and my love for cake. Not sure what happened. But don't worry. 7 months from now...we'll make up for it.

Can you make me a bottle?

POOF! You're a bottle!

YEAH BUDDY! I say it every time Allison asks me for a bottle. Allison hates the joke, but I think it's great.

We put it to Facebook, most agreed with Allison, funny the first time, not funny the next 40 times.

What's even funnier is now Allison tries to avoid saying it. She now says, can you prepare a bottle, or can you get a bottle ready? But I wait for it and I'll POOF her again the next chance I get.

Almost 5 Months - Time Management it Easy

I've been a father of two for almost 5 months and I've almost found a way to create free time. I'm this close!

Let me take you through my day.
I wake up anywhere between 6:00 - 6:30. - I have 3 alarms set on my iphone. The first starting at 5:50 (I'll get to work early today) the last at 6:30 (get up right now or you're fired.)
I get dressed, make lunch and leave for work somewhere between 6:35 - 6:45. I hate my lunch everyday. It's either a turkey sandwich or a chicken sandwich. Everyday at work I hope for a surprise lunch meeting with a vendor or left over 4Rivers from a big meeting. It never happens, so I force my sandwich down.
The drive to work isn't bad. It takes about 45 - 50 minutes.
WORK, WORK, WORK
I leave work at either 4:00 or 4:30 depending on the day.
Pick up the kids by 5 or 5:30 depending on the day. I talk to Grammy or Mrs. Amanda about their day. I hope they had a good day and I don't hear any bad news about Ben pushing, cutting, biting or setting a fire. There's only been one incident. Not telling you which one it was.
I get home, unload the kids, their bags and my laptop. Sometimes I get the mail, sometimes it sits. It never sits for more than 2 days.
I let Ben play, usually he asks me to watch Mickey Mouse or Thomas and Friends, so I set him up and I start making dinner.
Abigail gets a 4oz bottle.
After Abigail finishes, I set her in the swing, bouncer or jumper depending on how she napped during the day.
Allison gets home between 6 - 6:30. Between the 2 of us, we get dinner on the table and we eat.
We finish dinner and are on the floor playing with the kids by about 6:45 - 7:00
We play on the floor with the kids until 7:30 - 7:45, which is the fastest 30-40 minutes of the day.
Now it's time for bath time and bedtime.
Abigail gets a bath first, while Ben plays with his choo-choos in his room or plays with his favorite APP Whooping Trains PRO - totally worth the $2.
 Allison does Abigail's night time routine and I start Ben's bath. About once a week, we swap. By now it's about 8:15 and he's pretty tired so he starts acting nutty. He laughs, giggles and splashes...a lot.
I get Ben into his room, put his PJs on then bring him back to the bath room for flossing and brushing his teeth and hair. Most nights this goes well, some nights I'm chasing him around the house in various forms of undress. While there is nothing cuter than a 2 year old running naked around the house, at 8:30 on a work night, it's pretty hard to enjoy.
Now it's story time. Ben gets his book and tries to read it himself. He turns the pages, picks something on each page, a letter, a picture or a number, announces it, then turns the page. Just as I think it's night time, he asks me to read the book to him.
I read the book while he makes his stuffed Woody, Buzz, Percy, Night-Night Bear and Clifford play. Allison finishes up with Abigail and comes to say goodnight to Ben.
Most nights this is done by 8:30.

Now it's time to exercise. Allison and I started doing workout videos in the evening. We're getting pretty buff. You've probably already noticed. ;) The workout is done by 9:15 - 9:30.
One of us hits the shower while the other starts washing the dishes. (I'll give you one guess who showers first and who does the dishes)
After we've both showered and the house is clean, we sit on the couch for a small snack and some TV. It's usually 10:00 before we start the first show.
We try to get to bed by 11:00, but that's out the window on Thursday night. Too many good shows. The Office, Big Bang Theory, Up All Night (which is freaking HILARIOUS and I think they stole some stories from my blog,) and Jersey Shore. Yeah Buddy!


Before heading up to bed we check on the kids. It's my favorite part of the day. We visit Abigail first. She either sleeps on her side, belly or is passed out on her back looking like she is making snow angels or doing a jumping jack. Those are the days we know she had a fun day. Allison gives her a kiss, I'm too afraid to wake her up, so I just stroke her hair.

We check on Ben. It's always fun to see where he is. When we say goodnight, his head is on the pillow and he is covered by the sheet and blanket. When we check on him, he is usually laying  parallel to his pillow with his head on one of his stuffed animals.

Allison and I get into bed, say goodnight and read. Allison reads for about 3-5 minutes then turns off her ipad and goes to sleep. I on the other hand fight through the sleep and read as much as I can. Most nights I drop my Kindle on my face or chest because I've fallen asleep reading. It's a dangerous game. Sooner or later I'll put an eye out, but I've been lucky so far.

I hope to post more. This is my first post of 2012. Crazy.

Mommy's Night Out - Benefit Concert

Allison recently made some new mommy friends in the neighborhood. She was invited to hang out for a mom's night out. Bring a snack, don't bring the kids. That's all fine and good, but when the your 7 week old daughter has only been bottle fed once in her life, there could be problems brewing at home. Let's see what happened shall we?

We ate dinner then Allison got her S'mores type snack ready and hit the road. I was getting mentally prepared for my night and I didn't even get to do my classic S'mores joke. I'll have to double up next time.

I got Ben in his pajamas early. He still isn't himself yet. I don't know if he isn't 100% over his virus or if he is teething and that is bothering him, but either way, he's not himself. He's been angry and whinny. He actually sounds a lot like me when I'm sick or hungry or sick and hungry.

I knew he would go to bed early, and that would just leave me and my little girl. Last time I was alone with her, I had to admit defeat and call mommy home. Not tonight little girl! Not tonight!

We played in the kids room for about 20 minutes and all was fine: see exhibit A

Then one of Ben's cars fell off the ramp and he thought it was a good idea to punch, kick and push the ramp. That marked bedtime. I did a very quick teeth brush and put him to bed. I tried to be slick with his bedtime story. I knew it was only a matter of time before Abigail got upset that she was alone and I wanted to get back to her before that happened.

I started reading Clifford and Friends. It's a double feature, Clifford and Friends in the front, Clifford's Family in the back. I skipped directly to Clifford's Family. Ben was happy for the first 3 pages, then WAIT A MINUTE! SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT!!! He figured it out and started reaching for the book. I quickly finished up then played the "tuck in" game. (tucking him in by pulling the blanket over his head) I said good night and was on my way. I feel bad for skipping story time, but he'll get 2 or 3 stories tomorrow night to make up for it.

It was off to tend to Abigail now. Did the abbreviated story time keep her from getting upset? NOPE! Missed it by that much! Now to calm her down and feed her a bottle for the second time in her life, the first time being her first meal ever! No sweat right?

I dressed her in winter feety pajamas. It's going to be 47 degrees tonight. Gotta bundle up. I got a bib and two burp cloths. I was ready for action. I tried to feed her and she flipped out! WAIT A MINUTE! That taste like my food, but you're not mommy!!!! She probably screamed bloody murder for 30-45 seconds, but it felt like 4 or 5 minutes. I decided to sing a song to calm her down. It worked. She stopped crying and started eating. So I couldn't stop singing could I?

Those of you who know me well, know I'm a horrible singer. Ms. Duck wouldn't even let me join the chorus in elementary school. I had to play viola in the orchestra! It's scary to think my singing soothes my baby girl.

I think her first sentence may be "quick to the point to the point no fakin, cookin MCs like a pound of bacon" because I sing that song to her a lot. On to the playlist:

1. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
2. Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
3. Paul Revere - Beastie Boys
4. New York, New York - Frank Sinatra
5. Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi

Things got bad for a minute during Wanted Dead or Alive. I started laughing thinking about an SNL skit. The whole thing is funny, but I was thinking about the scene 4:25 into the clip.


Jon Bon Jovi interview SNL, funny :) from monster on Vimeo.


I composed myself and continued the concert. She started eating again. The encore set list:

1. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
2. NY State of Mind - Billy Joel
3. It Takes Two - Rob Base & DJ Easy Rock

She fell asleep during the last song. I woke her up for a quick burp. She only ate 1.5 oz, but I'm calling that a success of epic proportions. However, if Allison reads this, I'm pretty sure she hated the bottle and me feeding her. She's much happier when you do it and let daddy sleep! WINK! SMILEY FACE!!!

To summarize my night - Daddy Rules! King Kong ain't got nothing on me! (Sorry for the cursing, I couldn't find the clip from the preview when he says "nothing")

Best and Worst of the Weekend - Sick, Sick, Sick

Before I get into my best and worst of the weekend I wanted to bring up something I mentioned a while back. Another celebrity died today and that's all that people are Tweeting or Facebooking about.

You can search back six months and I bet you don't find any posts about Heavy D in your timeline. I think he would have wanted to hear how many people loved his music and appreciated him as an artist. Pick a celebrity you enjoy and give them a tribute while they are still alive.Heavy D's most popular song had to be "Now that we found love" but my favorite song of his was "We got our own thang"


Pick your favorite 90s song and ask your local radio station to play it. Send an email to Fred Savage and thank him for The Wonder Years. Or write a happy blog post, tweet or status update about someone. This is my third installment of Best and Worst of the weekend, that was inspired by Dan Patrick and the Dan Patrick show.

This week's best and worst of the weekend are actually the same thing.
Worst of the weekend - Ben was sick and I had to spend the last 4 days taking care of him.
Best of the weekend - Ben was sick and I got to spend the last 4 days taking care of him.

Friday night before bed, I was putting on a puppet show for him. It was to the part of the show where the sheep puppet picks a volunteer from the audience and tickles them. I noticed that Ben felt warm. I took his temp and it was 103.5! Holy KTU that's hot!

I looked at Allison and said "Bye bye!" I made her take the baby and get away from me and Ben. I can take care of him. It's ok if I get sick, but I can't have my 7 week old baby or my wife who takes care of her getting sick. Sorry. Take a hike. You're both quarantined until further notice.

I was about to read her the riot act or even better, the "DFS" quote by Dustin Hoffman in Outbreak, but she went upstairs without a fight. That left Ben and I alone for 4 days.

Ben was a brave boy at the doctor on Monday. We called the doctor back when his temp hit 104.7. She told us if he hits 105, take him to the emergency room. I got dressed and stayed dressed for the next 4 or 5 hours just so I would be ready if we needed to roll. When I went to bed, I laid out clothes next to the bed. so I could be ready at a moment's notice. Luckily we didn't have to take him. 

What do you do with a sick 2 year old? We played with a lot of toys and watched A LOT of television. That's what you're supposed to do with a sick boy. Wear pajamas, eat ice pops and watch TV. Here's a list of what we watched and an estimate of how many times we watched it:

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse - 10 episodes.
Jake and the Neverland Pirates - 3 episodes
Sesame Street - 2 episodes
Thomas and Friends - 12 episodes
Chuggington - 5 episodes
Yo Gabba Gabba - 1 episode
Full House - 30 minutes of clips on YouTube
Cars - twice
Cars 2 - three times
Pixar Shorts - twice
The Little Mermaid - 1/2 of it, then we switched to Cars 2
Tangled - Once
Football - one half on Saturday, Three quarters on Sunday

I honestly feel like I left some shows out. All the kid shows start to look like the same show after a while. His fever broke this afternoon. During a nap, he sweat through his shirt and soaked his pillow. His temperature hasn't gone above 99.2 since. I hope I didn't jinx it. We'll find out soon because I'm going to check him again when I go to bed in a few minutes

One thing I learned this week - Chuggington is a good substitute for Thomas and Friends, but the theme song is very catchy. It's been in my head since Saturday morning. "Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-Chuggington!"